Post by chakra7 on Aug 30, 2017 9:13:31 GMT
have filed for divorce banter 30 years marriage lately lots of of emotional abuse, I was doing ok,I thought until found out my husband had gone away with another woman .someyhing he denied to my face when I asked him , I am the only person he wanted according to him. Then when I received the final part of the divorce petition to sign for court , I found myself being drawn back in, thinking he's not a well man if I could just get him to tell the truth , I could forgive him, and he go to counselling , we'd be saved. Hurrah !!
So that is what happened, for the past week we talked about starting again, I fell for it all again, it was all about his needs , the tramua he suffered made him do things. He never directly admitted. Anything, but I pushed and pushed till he told me he did go away with someone on two occasions , but it meant nothing to him , he showed no remorse ,he didn't get upset , plead with me to take him back . I however was in bits even knowing it before hand but to hear him say it and in such such a cold and callous way. He showed no empathy for me at all , what my feelings were in all this . it was all all about him he said
I've told you now that's what you wanted you coming back or not?
It was an addiction to try one last time, I couldn't stop my self contacting him and wanting to hear he wanted us to try again it wasn't about me again , it was him,I had to do it to fix him . I wanted the fairy tale marriage so much , i ignored all the red flags and did agree to try again , forgive him . I was on the verge of going to contact the solicitor and tell them to stop proceedings, but then I remembered his face and the emotions he displayed when he told me, ,no upset, no remorse it just wasn't right.
I went back to him and told him I was going through with the divorce, because he wasn't really sorry , his emotions were all wrong when he told me the truth , then I saw real emotion in him, he was angry , he snarled , he was abusuve called me a liar and a cheat, I'd tricked him into telling me the truth . Grabbed my bag and told me to get out,.
He wasnt In control of me anymore, that's where the emotion came from , what he done and said to me hundreds of times before hadn't worked , he'd lost control and his real emotions came to the fore.
What I don't understand is why did I let myself fall back into his web of lies again, and why even knowing I've made the right decision, do I feel so empty and even miss him today. I'm as messed up,as he is to put myself through that rubbish again , why didn't I just sign the papers straight away.
The saving grace has been educating myself, reading,about emotional abuse and control coming onto sites like this which help you find the truth find yourself, without that I know I would have never been able to get away.
So that is what happened, for the past week we talked about starting again, I fell for it all again, it was all about his needs , the tramua he suffered made him do things. He never directly admitted. Anything, but I pushed and pushed till he told me he did go away with someone on two occasions , but it meant nothing to him , he showed no remorse ,he didn't get upset , plead with me to take him back . I however was in bits even knowing it before hand but to hear him say it and in such such a cold and callous way. He showed no empathy for me at all , what my feelings were in all this . it was all all about him he said
I've told you now that's what you wanted you coming back or not?
It was an addiction to try one last time, I couldn't stop my self contacting him and wanting to hear he wanted us to try again it wasn't about me again , it was him,I had to do it to fix him . I wanted the fairy tale marriage so much , i ignored all the red flags and did agree to try again , forgive him . I was on the verge of going to contact the solicitor and tell them to stop proceedings, but then I remembered his face and the emotions he displayed when he told me, ,no upset, no remorse it just wasn't right.
I went back to him and told him I was going through with the divorce, because he wasn't really sorry , his emotions were all wrong when he told me the truth , then I saw real emotion in him, he was angry , he snarled , he was abusuve called me a liar and a cheat, I'd tricked him into telling me the truth . Grabbed my bag and told me to get out,.
He wasnt In control of me anymore, that's where the emotion came from , what he done and said to me hundreds of times before hadn't worked , he'd lost control and his real emotions came to the fore.
What I don't understand is why did I let myself fall back into his web of lies again, and why even knowing I've made the right decision, do I feel so empty and even miss him today. I'm as messed up,as he is to put myself through that rubbish again , why didn't I just sign the papers straight away.
The saving grace has been educating myself, reading,about emotional abuse and control coming onto sites like this which help you find the truth find yourself, without that I know I would have never been able to get away.