|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Feb 28, 2018 20:37:18 GMT
I am shaking !!! This Ron guy who I was seeing about 3 years ago just showed up at my door !!! He pulled in my drive way, and when I saw him get out of his truck I jumped up and locked the door. I ran and hid in the bathroom. He lingered at my door for a while before he gave up and left. I am just shaking !!!! If he comes over again I will call the police.
Let me vent. I am so upset. This guy has no boundaries !!! No man shows up at a woman's door after 3 years of no contact. No man !! Unless there is something wrong with him. He never tried calling first, I am positive he never called cause I have been waiting for an important phone call, and I'm keeping an eye on incoming calls. He never called first. Cause I would have told him NOT INTERESTED.
Years ago after we stopped speaking he showed up at my door two months later. Two months of no contact, and he just shows up at my door. He walked in my house without permission and demanded the electric heater he gave me months before. He made up this cock & bull story about a recall on the heater. He lied and said I don't take his calls. He never called. My son Junior lived here at the time, and Junior handled him. Junior told him to leave. Three years later and he does it again !! Just shows up at my door!
I am very afraid of that man. He was physically emotionally abusive. He is a pathological liar. He is a mooch. He is a player. Lying conniving manipulative low-down no good. In the short period of time I knew him he sucked me dry where I struggled to pay my bills. Struggled for months and months !! Now I also know he is a stalker. No man shows up at a woman's door after 3 years of no contact except a stalker.
About that electric heater. It was second hand from a yard sale. Ron then drives over two months later and spent more money in gas than the heater was worth !! He lives 45 minutes away. That shows me his level of anger. He is one scary dude.
We only dated 2 months? I don't think it was 3 months. Because of the distance we only saw each other maybe one or two days a week. So maybe a total of 10 days together. It was a very short term relationship. It makes it even crazier that he showed up at my door today.
I called my sister after he gave up today. My sister questioned if I'm mistaken about it being him. I said I'm positive ! He has that upside-down handle-bar white mustache. Like an upside-down horseshoe. He has short legs and is kinda bow-legged. He walks with wide steps, and his arms swinging. It makes him a bull in a china shop. I remember him knocking over stuff in my house years ago. He'd get nasty and said that thing shouldn't be there !! He jumped in my cat food bowl and cat food flew everywhere in an explosion, and he angrily snarled that shouldn't be there !!
I don't know what he wants from me, by showing up at my house. Does he still want that second hand heater?? And, again he drove for 45 minutes to get a 3-year old second hand heater??? I can only guess what he wanted.
And, I'm also upset with my sister. She actually asked if it could have been the plumber. I said I haven't called a plumber !!! A plumber doesn't show up without being called. I can't believe my sister said that !!! I don't know if she thinks I will feel better if I think I'm mistaken. All it does is drive me crazy when I know what I saw. It was him. And, for someone to suggest I'm imaging things is NOT helping me. I feel like my sister is gas lighting me by questioning my reality. I know it was him. Upside-down white handlebar mustache. White not gray. Short legs. Kinda bull legged. He walks with wide steps with his arms swinging. And, he is acting the same !! Showing up at my door without my consent.
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518 
|
Post by karen on Feb 28, 2018 22:16:14 GMT
Hey Jeannie..don't blame you a bit for being so upset by this! It is very suspicious and I am glad you didn't answer the door. He doesn't want the heater, he wants to use it as an excuse to get to you, to get back into your life. I suspect he is bored, doesn't have someone to control right now and needs to get his "fix" about pestering you. It sounds like he probably holds grudges and that is why he is trying to get in your life.
I would call the police if he shows up again. ALso call them now and run the situation past them, asking "what can I do next time,how do I protect myself?" I would also go out and purchase some pepper spray or something to defend yourself with in case he decides to do more than just knock. Also, if it happens again, take his picture, his car or the license plate on the car. Sadly, you may have to be prepared for information to give to the police. I don't know where you live, but I would lock my house door all the time and my car. He seriously sounds like he has no boundaries and is not afraid of anything.
This is scarey stuff, you shouldn't have to be worrying about this jerk. He is not a good person and should just stay away. Some abusers just can't move on. They truly believe they have the right to be in your life. If you trust your neighbors..alert them to him coming around. That way if he does and you are not home, they can be witnesses to the police. It may pay to install a camera that faces your driveway or front of your home, just so you have proof. I know it is a pain, but this guy has shown that he isn't giving up so easy.
Stay safe Jeannie, we are here! Also, maybe call a DV hotline, they may have more information on how to stay safe. Thinking of you and sending you good wishes!
Karen
|
|
|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Mar 1, 2018 1:33:26 GMT
Thank you Karen. You are so spot on. I too believe he holds grudges and that he may think I have something of his, (the heater). And, I believe he thinks it somehow entitles him with permission to come over anytime. I really think he is crazy. I did call the domestic violence hotline today. They asked about Ron's personal info. I don't remember Ron's telephone number, I don't remember Ron's last name. I don't remember his address. That was three years ago. I remember the nasty things he did to me. but I really don't remember his personal info. DV hotline said to always be aware of my surroundings. don't just get out of the car, look around before getting out of the car. I don't think Ron would be stalking me in neighborhood. He lives 45 minutes away. I believe he just upped and decided to drive over, and take a chance on me being home. Anyway, DV asked the usual if I lock doors/windows. Asked if I have a dog. NO. Asked if his knock was mean or a friendly type knock. Asked if he was carrying anything in his hand while he was walking up. Told me not to contact him to find out why he came over. No worries...I haven't had contact in 3-years, and wasn't planning contact now.
He will not catch me off guard next time. I will call the police. I'll write down the license plate number if I can see that far, if nothing else a partial plate. I think the car was a Ford? Anyway, if it happens again I will be ready to pounce. I am pissed off !!!!
That guy is nothing but a bad memory, and he trespassed on me today. He did not have my permission to come over. He took away my choice by barging on my property. That is abuse. I am ready to pounce on him like a cat with claws. I will bust him out if he ever tries that again.
I am going to look online tonight for camera etc. Thank you Karen for responding to my post. I had no worries, until today. I was happy to do my own thing and, then a devil decides to upset my peace. I will fight back !
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
|
Post by karen on Mar 1, 2018 3:16:59 GMT
Kudos to you Jeannie for being smart and being prepared. That is what is so important..that we feel empowered to not just lay down and let these jerks back in! AND I am like you in that I get enraged when someone has the audacity to invade my life purely for their own selfish wants. We shouldn't have to worry about these jerks, we should be able to peacefully live our lives well. I am so glad you called the hotline..they mentioned things I would not have thought about like the different types of knocks. I don't think he would stalk you either, but he did come over after driving 45 minutes so that tells me..we have to think like abusers sometimes. For the most part they can't be bothered, but for some reason this guy isn't letting go. You are very wise to think the unthinkable. Be prepared..he may not be done yet. I too had looked into a camera..I was living in an apartment and there were other residents in the building who I believed were a threat to my property. I wanted to keep an eye on my things. They are not expensive and fairly easy to install. You can either put them in the house, like inside a window or outside. I wanted mine inside so I could make sure no one broke it on purpose (like throw stones at it). I never thought my ex-husband would be violent until he started to do a few things that Lundy Bancroft's book "Why Does He DO That?" clearly said were behaviors that led to physical violence. I was stunned when I saw the list and my ex had done a few things on the list. WOW. I have not trusted him or my ex-boyfriend (also abusive and threatened me with physical abuse). I try very hard to never let my guard down. I thought my ex jerk had moved on until he contacted me 7 months after we split..he had a new girlfriend and everything. I was shocked and wondered "what the heck is your problem". He was bored, his girlfriend was ignoring him, and he wanted attention. So never again will I assume that the exes are not going to bother me again. I have to see my ex-husband in a few months as our daughters are graduating (one from high school the other from college). I know he is going to want to talk to me. I am mentally trying to prepare myself for this. I don't trust him. You are very welcome, stay strong and stay safe. Anything I can do to help, I will  |
|
|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Mar 1, 2018 4:09:52 GMT
I wish you the best with dealing with your ex-husband at your two daughters graduations. Yep, I am sure your ex-husband will use the opportunity to try to talk to you. I could never out guess what to expect. The guy would catch me off guard every time. My mind doesn't think that way. Their mind always is up to tricks.
I looked online for a small camera that I bought years ago. It is a cute little camera, but the battery died. I only paid $10.00 for it. I still have the memory card. I can't find it online for $10.00. I am very frustrated today, so I will search again another day.
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
|
Post by karen on Mar 2, 2018 3:14:46 GMT
Thanks Jeannie..we will see how it goes, our paths may cross next week. Our daughter has a show she is in and he will attend and so will I. I do my best to avoid him..so I am hopeful. I am with you..my mind doesn't work that way and the one thing that I really can't stand is being "blind sided". I hate not seeing what may come at me, but I also have lived my life expecting good and kindness and it still shocks me when I come across someone who really is not nice. I have a few people in my workplace who are like that and I have to control the inclination in me to "fight" instead of "flee".
Good luck with the camera search. I ended up moving so I never did buy a camera and where I live now is SO SO SO much nicer than where I was, I haven't felt the need for one. I live on the 3rd floor and the entrance to the building is locked. I feel a little safer and I know the only way into my place is through the only door which is always double locked. My new guy in my life, he has 2 cameras mounted in his car and two in his apartment. Mostly in case of an accident and to see if anyone steals packages off his front porch. I thought about getting a camera for inside my car as where I live in the US..the people around here are some of the rudest drivers on the planet.
It can't hurt to be prepared. Since encounter abusers in my life..I don't trust too many people anymore.
Hope you have a good weekend and that it is quiet and without any disturbances!
|
|
|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Mar 10, 2018 4:14:41 GMT
Karen, the guy hasn't been back since. I think he got a wild hair up his *** and, just upped and decided to drive 45 minutes to get that old heater.
I am glad to hear you got a good guy in your life !
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
|
Post by karen on Mar 10, 2018 20:16:33 GMT
Whew,,so glad he has disappeared. Here's hoping that he stays gone for good. I don't think I will ever not look over my shoulder going forward. I haven't heard from my ex-boyfriend..very abusive..since 2015. But, I know he is still out there, I know he would take up the opportunity to "mess" with me if he was bored or his wife was not as attentive as he would want. I don't trust that he wouldn't try and bother me. AND..he is subtle. Just something as simple as him "blocking" me or "unblocking" me on social media..it's a game he would play. I would unblock him, he would not have me blocked, then I would look at his profile and he would block me again. It is that kind of crap that says "I can still mess with you if I want". I have him and his new wife blocked and will never unblock him at this point. I want him out of my life completely. It is good also for me in that I am not tempted to look him up on social media. I still get tempted and I find the more I don't look him up, the less I tend to think of him.
They just can't respect us and leave us alone.
I am lucky right now to have a guy who understands abuse. He and I were two "dented" people (not broken) who are trying to rebuild and find something healthy in a relationship. I still take one day at a time.
So glad things are settling down for you. I will let you know how it goes with my ex-husband. Going to the show tonight for my daughter, rumor has it he won't be there (he already went a few nights ago), so I am hopeful to have a peaceful evening watching a great show!
TTYL,,Karen
|
|
|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Jul 8, 2018 2:57:26 GMT
I tried to track the guy down on the internet here & there, but with no success. I wanted his last name, because I really don't remember it. Just in case he does this again. I have to have a last name before I call the police or I look ridiculous. Today it occurred to me to look him up on facebook. Do a search for friends. I typed in the info I know. His fb profile popped up. Now I have a first/last name, dob, address. Then I went to online Wisconsin court records. I found out juicy stuff on him. Yet, no restraining orders !!! Amazing !! He sure pushes/tests the law. Anyway, I got his license plate#, his VIN# from court records. I am ready. If he ever trespasses on me again, I will call the police, and I have every thing they need to track him down. While I was on his facebook I briefly looked down his posts. I saw he was seeing a woman around the same timeline when he showed up at my door. That is really creepy that he shows up at my door while he is seeing her. Maybe, he thought he would take that 3-year old electric heater from me, and give it to her. Then he can stalk her 3-years from now.
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
|
Post by karen on Jul 8, 2018 19:35:27 GMT
HI Jeannie, great idea looking him up! WOW! You were able to get a lot of information online. That being said, if you can get all that on him, be aware that he can get that on you (if he is smart enough). So, consider blocking him on FB or social media. Once you block him, you can't see his stuff any longer either, but as long as you don't block him, he can see your stuff. Just a thought. I have the ex-boyfriend and his new wife blocked, I just don't trust him to not go looking to try and insert himself in my life at some point. My ex-husband has no clue about FB, he has a page, but I have him blocked too.
The fact that he showed up and was in a relationship at the time, tells me she wasn't paying him the attention he wanted at that time, or she was mad at him or him mad at her, who knows. All I know is they cannot be trusted. Don't even give an inch, they will take 10 miles.
Kudos to you for being prepared. It is sad we even have to consider all this, but Abusers are tricky and scheming and just untrustworthy to do the right thing.
Glad you are doing ok!
|
|
|
|
Post by jeannie812 on Jul 8, 2018 21:46:10 GMT
Done. He is blocked from my facebook. That is a really good idea Karen. At first when I read your comment, I thought he already knows where I live, what else would he want to know about me? Why would he bother to look at my facebook? Then it hit me, maybe that is how he knows I'm still alive, and that I still live here, and how he knows that I don't have a big husband to kick his ass if he shows up at my door. Was I being stalked, but didn't know it? Maybe, or it could that he is that arrogant, and fueled by anger that he doesn't care about any of the above possibilities. But, for someone who refused to pitch in for gas money while using my car/gas, he has no problem wasting a trip & gas on the 45 minute drive here and 45 minutes back, and taking the chance that I'll be here, and be here alone. The only thing that makes sense is he is tracking me, and he knows all about me. You are right that I can no longer view his profile either. Which is fine because now that I know how to look him up, it would become an unhealthy curiosity to find out more and more. Also, Ron tries to play multiple women at the same time. I know he was doing that to me during the short time I knew him. I saw it on his facebook yesterday. I saw the date/year of the picture of him on a boat with many young women on board sunbathing, and this is while he was seeing me and blowing me off. That was at the time when he was telling me all about these fun plans for the week of 4th of July. I had thought the plans included me. I found out he was just telling me all about his fun plans. He had said I would have to drive over if I wanted to see him. I couldn't. He broke me financially. I had to come up with the last property tax installment by July 31, and I didn't have it. Now he wants me to spend more money on gas?? I stopped talking to him at that point. Anyway, all of this brought up raw emotions & bad memories that I thought I had buried. Thank you for listening Karen.
|
|
karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
|
Post by karen on Jul 9, 2018 21:49:24 GMT
Hi Jeannie..you would be amazed at what people can find out on FB. People can find out who your friends are, they can see what you like and don't like (by pages you follow), a friend of a friend can see what you post especially if you tag someone on the post. My boyfriend's ex-wife is still friends with my boyfriend's Mom. I am not friends with the Mom..but my boyfriend is also friends with his stepdaughter..she is friends with her mother..the ex-wife and so if I tag my boyfriend..it all trickles down and his Mother and ex-wife see what I am posting. His ex-wife now knows who I am, that I have kids, that I am with her ex-husband, that I "love" him, if I write that. She can see all that unless I block her. I have blocked her. BUT..I also found that my boyfriends' stepsister is friends with his abusive Mom. So when I post to her, the abusive Mom knows my life!.
So, we have to be conscious of who sees what. Many abusers will also post "happy" stuff, especially with their new partner as they know us victims will see it. It is a "kick to the gut" when they post all that happy relationship stuff. They know we look because we are curious. My abusive ex-boyfriend posted ALL KINDS of pictures of his new girlfriend/now wife. It was incredibly hurtful to see him and her so happy. He NEVER posted anything about us, he was against me being on FB and him. I couldn't post stuff about him and I.
I blocked him and his new wife and several of their friends because I didn't want anyone seeing my life and telling him..it would fuel his fire so to speak and he would put more stuff out there to hurt me. He did stuff like that on our anniversaries..when we met, our first date, that kind of stuff. He is a shit. It was very subtle, but I got the point. He knew he could still get to me. It also keeps me from looking at him and her. I haven't peeked at them in almost a year. It feels great. AND believe me I am tempted.
It brings it all to the surface, that is for sure. We do think they are buried and they are to a point. It doesn't take much for those feelings and thoughts to come right back. That picture that was posted of him with other girls during your relationship? It was done on purpose to probably hurt you. My ex would do that stuff all the time. It is very passive/aggressive and shitty.
You are very welcome, anytime my friend!
I am glad you got things blocked. And if you decide to "unblock" him? And believe me, I did several times, be aware that you cannot block him again for 2 days. I don't know how Instagram or Twitter work...but even Google+ has blocking available too. My ex jerk found me there too.
|
|
|
|
Post by Andrew Lincoln on Feb 2, 2024 0:25:40 GMT
Hey, Are you tired of missing out on potential profits in the volatile world of cryptocurrency trading? Look no further! I've got something special for you. Introducing the "GOD Trading Strategies" e-book, your ultimate guide to mastering successful crypto trading. For a limited time, you can get this comprehensive guide for just $19.95 instead of the regular $49. That's a whopping 60% discount! Here's what you get with "GOD Trading Strategies": In-depth insights into successful trading strategies. Tips on risk management to safeguard your investments. Real-world examples and case studies for practical application. Don't miss out on this incredible opportunity to elevate your trading game. If you are interested, write to me or click here to grab your copy now! --- hornoselectricos.online/CryptoGOD/--- Happy Trading! |
|
|
|
Post by Lavada Deberry on Feb 11, 2024 20:31:31 GMT
Dreaming of an online income stream?Here's your chance to take advantage of online income opportunities. Kickstart your financial growth now and enjoy the benefits of earning online. Want a steady income? Click here to learn more! bit.ly/earn-money-and-gift-cards-online |
|
|
|
Post by Candy Bilodeau on Feb 28, 2024 15:34:58 GMT
See how unmatched strategy of a player transforms battles into living legends in World of Tanks.
'Experts Agree: This Gameplay Is a Must-See – Find Out Why!'
|
|
|
|
Post by Karina Sancho on Mar 8, 2024 6:09:20 GMT
|
|
