Post by treacle on May 18, 2019 8:24:57 GMT
Hello everyone. I've not posted on here for a couple of years but when I left my abusive husband 8 years ago this site was a lifeline.
Time has gone by and I decided, for the sake of my children and family harmony, to get back in touch with my ex last year. My youngest told me that his Dad had a health scare and was due to undergo tests, and I felt it not right to ignore such news, and also I was legally still his wife so I suppose felt some sort of duty. It had been 7 years since I'd left with no contact since then.
So I messaged him and took him for his tests (all of which were OK) and then things went from there. We spent time as a family so meals out, trips, visits to other family, and spent Xmas together. He told me at that point that he'd been in a relationship for a number of years and that it was coming to an end. I was a little surprised as I'd not intimated that I'd wanted anything other than a platonic relationship with him, for the sake of the children (who are now all adults) and had no intention of that changing.
Fast forward to yesterday. We'd planned a family meal for tomorrow for his birthday, when I received a text from him yesterday morning saying that he felt it 'appropriate' that he bring his long-term girlfriend (who he obviously hadn't finished with) for me to meet. That we were all adults and that his girlfriend knew my children 'really well' (how cruel was that to say) and was happy to come along.
I spoke to my eldest who said that Dad had contacted all my boys the previous evening to tell them of his plans and that they all said that if the girlfriend went to the meal then they wouldn't, and whatever was he thinking? Obviously not content with leaving it at that, my ex then chooses to text me. What on earth was he expecting me to say - oh yes, what a great idea, would love to meet her?
My boys also said that it was a nonsense that she knew them really well and that it was just my ex making things up, as usual.
To say this has rocked my boat would be an understatement. The hurt and pain has all come rushing back and yet again, he has left me feeling churned up, plus bewildered that he could even consider bringing the girlfriend to be a good idea, let alone pretend that she knew my children well.
I've given up trying to work out what goes on in his mind, but trying to recover from yet more pain from him is so difficult. Do these people deliberately cause hurt or is that they are so selfish, they don't think? Yet again, he is the puppet master.
Time has gone by and I decided, for the sake of my children and family harmony, to get back in touch with my ex last year. My youngest told me that his Dad had a health scare and was due to undergo tests, and I felt it not right to ignore such news, and also I was legally still his wife so I suppose felt some sort of duty. It had been 7 years since I'd left with no contact since then.
So I messaged him and took him for his tests (all of which were OK) and then things went from there. We spent time as a family so meals out, trips, visits to other family, and spent Xmas together. He told me at that point that he'd been in a relationship for a number of years and that it was coming to an end. I was a little surprised as I'd not intimated that I'd wanted anything other than a platonic relationship with him, for the sake of the children (who are now all adults) and had no intention of that changing.
Fast forward to yesterday. We'd planned a family meal for tomorrow for his birthday, when I received a text from him yesterday morning saying that he felt it 'appropriate' that he bring his long-term girlfriend (who he obviously hadn't finished with) for me to meet. That we were all adults and that his girlfriend knew my children 'really well' (how cruel was that to say) and was happy to come along.
I spoke to my eldest who said that Dad had contacted all my boys the previous evening to tell them of his plans and that they all said that if the girlfriend went to the meal then they wouldn't, and whatever was he thinking? Obviously not content with leaving it at that, my ex then chooses to text me. What on earth was he expecting me to say - oh yes, what a great idea, would love to meet her?
My boys also said that it was a nonsense that she knew them really well and that it was just my ex making things up, as usual.
To say this has rocked my boat would be an understatement. The hurt and pain has all come rushing back and yet again, he has left me feeling churned up, plus bewildered that he could even consider bringing the girlfriend to be a good idea, let alone pretend that she knew my children well.
I've given up trying to work out what goes on in his mind, but trying to recover from yet more pain from him is so difficult. Do these people deliberately cause hurt or is that they are so selfish, they don't think? Yet again, he is the puppet master.
